Christmas is upon us, and like most of you I am looking forward to getting a few good gifts from my family and friends. Sometimes we strike gold and get something really useful and lovely, but sometimes, just sometimes, it all goes wrong. Since we are all #GetOutside oriented, I wanted to show you EXACTLY what gifts to avoid buying for the outside enthusiast in your life.
The Squat Strap
Nothing says, “I found the perfect gift” like a good ole poop strap… Although we applaud the ingenuity we feel like we can handle our business strapless. Here is one gift to avoid this holiday.
So you’re shopping for someone who has everything? I’m going to bet they don’t have this, and let’s keep it that way. While it’s not the worst Christmas gift you could get, it’s certainly not the most practical. With 80 built-in tools to fix anything ranging from a commercial sized gas grill to a Mars rover, you’re going to need a sherpa to get this bad boy up and down any mountain adventure you take on. We are thinking you can skip this one.
Hand Crank Marshmallow and Hot Dog Roaster
Don’t even think about it! This is a bad Christmas gift for the true outdoor enthusiast. Real outdoor people find the perfect branch, we scavenge, we hunt, we snap, trim, and prep the perfect piece of natural wood. We then bask in the ultimate glory of watching our marshmallow or hot dog cook gloriously in the open fire. No need for electronics here! No need for automatic rotation!! We are human! We are THE ULTIMATE STICK SEARCHERS!!!
The last thing we need to do is pretend that the whole camp is tripping on acid. Funky Colored Flames may sound cool at first but we think natural fires are already cool enough, in fact, we crave them. It’s one of the best parts of our nostalgic camping experiences. Not only do these Funky Colors make everyone feel loopy but cooking over them can be down right poisonous. If you are looking for Funky Colors then hike up north and find some northern lights. We are skipping this one and we think you should too.
Talk about bad Christmas gifts. Neither this, nor our number one are exactly romantic gifts for your outdoorsy significant other. And frankly, we think you can do without them. On one of our Merrell trips in Tahoe last year the crew jokingly discussed this product when it was humorously explained to us in colorful detail. The descriptive recollection of slips, spills, and accidents ended up being a reoccurring funny moment throughout the trip. At the end of the day the ladies in our group wanted to stay au naturel and take care of business the only way they knew, like real women peeing in the woods (proudly)!
So to avoid getting the worst Christmas gifts for those on your list, make sure you skip these items and move on to the good stuff. A great place to start is the Merrell Holiday Gift Guide.
Posted By hillsmom
I think you’re dead wrong about the Go Girl. Well, it’s not any good for biking wearing spandex shorts because you have to “drop trou” anyway. But if one practices and remembers to keep the pressure fore and aft it really works. A mouthfull of water rinses it, and it folds up nicely. Don’t bother to try to put it back into the original container, though…use a plastic baggie or one of those wider prescription med containers. Practice in the shower is key.
Yes, there are other FUDs, but the fact that you don’t have to squat, and that this one folds up is really nice.